BREAKFAST at the Faculty Center

We mentioned the expanded Maymester hours before for our beloved eatery. This morning, running a little late in getting the kids to school for their last day, I didn't squeeze in my usual bowl of cereal.

I am one of those people who must eat breakfast. My wife, she is not. I do not understand her somedays.

Also, I have a small cold or allergy and really wanted to pop a few ibuprofen to help with a sore throat but know I need something to prevent it from eating away at my stomach lining.

(Aren't you glad you're reading this? On a food blog?)

So, events conspired to bring me to the Faculty Center for breakfast. Upon entering, I saw they had a wide array of standard breakfast fare. Half a million ways to fill a biscuit, it seemed. I also saw at least seven employees sitting at a table ... with not a customer in sight.

I grabbed a tray and sidled up to the stainless to order an egg, cheese and bacon biscuit. But they had no eggs. They did give me three slices of bacon, though. The shredded hash browns were well covered, so I couldn't see what they looked like, but I ordered them anyways. How do you screw up hash browns? And, really, of all the industrialized foods out there, potatoes are one of the few that hold up well and sometimes are a little better prepared en masse.

Towards the register I headed, grabbed a juice and began the ... long ... slow ... incorrect ... process ... of ... being ... rung ... up ... I was charged extra for the bacon, but no deduction was made for the lack of egg. And, of course, the $0.13 worth of OJ runs you somewhere north of $1.50.

I chose a table away from our standard location. New meal, new locale.

The biscuit, while nicely flaky, was really undersized. The mound of bacon was overwhelming. And the "cheese," which may have been not-cheese, was cold. And not melting.

I forked into the "hash browns," which were really a light-duty home fry. It was ... well ... excellent. The cubed potatoes had been boiled to the point of nearly disintegrating, which is key. They had then been quickly tossed in a hot pan with a little oil and then liberally - like New England Democratically liberally - covered in pepper.

Still, I wonder where the eggs had gone to by 8:10 a.m. ...